Haruhi's Twelve Days of Christmas
by Psyche Eros
Summary: When you're involved with the Host Club, even Christmas carols will never be the same again.


**A/N#1: I just felt like writing this, kekeke. It brought a smile to my face, hope it'll do the same for you! Tis the season... ;)**

***~*~*~*

* * *

**

"Ah-ah-ah-choo!"

Haruhi sniffled, her brow creasing slightly. She had almost dropped the tray of tea that she was holding, and she honestly did _not _need any more priceless antique things to be broken.

That had been her sixth sneeze in the clubroom today. Everyone turned to look at her as she carefully placed the tray down on a table at the far corner of the place, far from the center of the room, far from the tables that held those blasted things from hell…

"Oh, Haruhi, aren't you feeling well?"

The voice was from one of 'his' concerned guests.

'He' gave her a gracious smile. "I'm alright, princess. It's just… Ah-choo! Excuse me… It's all these roses. They're driving my nose crazy!"

_**On the first day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me**_

_**The roses from Music Room Three.**_

* * *

Poke. Twitch. Jab. Twitch.

A wily finger crept up her side and started tickling her.

Twitch. Twitch.

A pale face drew closer and blew at the nape of her neck.

"Gah!"

Haruhi stood up suddenly, face flushed, and she wheeled around to meet two pairs of amber eyes that gazed innocently at her, though the flicker of mischief in them only gave their owners away.

She was still far too groggy to be able to glare at them properly, and she had slipped out her contacts to rest her eyes for a while. She could barely make out the light auburn flames that danced along their heads, but she knew that color well enough to know who her tormenters were.

"Hikaru, Kaoru! Won't you guys ever let me get a decent minute of rest?" she grumbled.

This only seemed to provoke them, and they gave each other looks that usually meant trouble for her. All Haruhi was sure of was that there was never a moment of peace whenever the twins were around, and all one could do was sigh with exasperation and take them in with dignity, if their pranks still allowed someone to have a bit of dignity left.

"You're so cute when you've just woken up, Haruhi," they chorused, giving her identical grins of evil.

_**On the second day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me**_

_**Two devil twins.**_

* * *

There was a steely glint on his glasses, and he immediately struck them as even more intimidating; if that was even possible.

Most people froze in their tracks at his command. Even Haruhi had to admit that the boy had a way with people. She guessed that the skill was necessary if he wanted to own his family's company someday, but as they were still in their high school years, Kyoya put it to good use by manipulating everyone around him.

Well, Haruhi thought that he only looked more of a know-it-all—something annoying that was second only to his uncanny ability of catching an opportunity to raise her debt by another thousand yen—but it was situations like these when she was grateful that Kyoya _did_ look that way.

He raised his hand; and sensing that his adversary was about to make another pitiful attempt at opposing him, he smirked.

"But mommy dear—"

"No, _daddy_, we will not have a 'prehistoric caveman' theme, and I most definitely will not wear a loincloth. Isn't that _your_ job?"

_**On the third day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me**_

_**A cool guy in glasses.**_

* * *

"For the last time, sempai, I am not going to dress up in _that_."

She directed her speech to the blue-eyed blonde who flaunted a costume on a skinny, wooden mannequin that had a wig on to resemble her hair.

Haruhi stared at black scrap of cloth and lace that was supposedly "the attire of a waitress at a commoner's café.' Haruhi had snorted at this; she knew perfectly well that she never saw that kind of dress at the café down her block, and probably never would.

The other no-brainer thing was the fact that she had always disapproved of skimpy clothing, and this definitely made the top five things that she would never wear in her entire lifetime (the others in the list being an absurd outfit from her father, a pink bunny suit, a flowery dress from an idol magazine, and a ruffled two-piece swimsuit).

"Please, oh please, Haruhi?"

By the tone of his voice, she knew that he was pulling off his infamous puppy dog eyes and she firmly averted her gaze from him.

"Won't my sweet little girl do it for her daddy?"

"You're not my dad, Tamaki-sempai. Now go bother someone else."

Haruhi rolled her eyes as her comment caused the boy to huddle up in his corner of woe.

_**On the fourth day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me**_

_**One French blonde.**_

* * *

Haruhi had to suppress herself from covering her ears.

The shrieking of the ladies was getting to be too much, and she was glad that she had decided on skipping the Host Club today to study for a quiz. She would gladly deal with their sermons rather than face the horde of hormones that filled the clubroom right now. She had no idea, however, why she was standing outside their door, listening in on whatever activity was going on in there.

Her guess was that she got worried about the club. They always seemed to get into some sort of predicament whenever she wasn't around. So she had landed herself here and was now rooted to the spot, tempted to open the door and chance a peek at what was going on inside.

Finally letting her curiosity get the better of her, Haruhi cracked the door open by a few inches and slipped a glance.

At first, she couldn't see, owing to the mass of swooning girls. But when a few of them shifted a little, she got a full blast of the sight that got everyone acting like people on crack.

Haruhi's eyes were wide as she quietly retreated and clicked the door shut. She sank to the floor faintly, clutching her chest and cursing her own hormonal instinct for making her react this way. She had to admit though, the boys were really something today… Haruhi mentally slapped herself and banished the thought. Palming her face to try and recollect her sanity, she was alarmed to feel a warm liquid on her hand. She pulled away to look at it and was shocked.

A nosebleed? Seriously?

_**On the fifth day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me**_

_**Hot shirtless boys!**_

* * *

Frankly, she wasn't the bit interested in dessert, but she took a bite of the fruitcake anyway so as not to offend the seemingly young boy who sat in front of her, scarfing down his fifth slice. She began to wonder how it was possible for someone to remain as petite as this boy, even after stuffing himself continuously with carbohydrates.

Noticing that her attention was on him, the boy raised his large brown eyes inquisitively.

"Something wrong, Haru-chan? You've hardly touched your cake… Don't you think it's yummy?"

"It's delicious! But you know that I'm not really that into sweets…"

He was puzzled at this remark, and Haruhi felt sure that he was trying to conceive exactly how one could not be interested in sweet things. That particular concept was beyond his grasp, and it was something that didn't exist (or refused to exist) in the boy's world of sugar and fluffy, plush animals.

Seeing that the boy was struggling to find something to say in reply, Haruhi gave him a smile.

"Sempai, I don't think I can finish it. But why don't you let Usa-chan have the rest of my slice?" she suggested, gesturing to the pink stuffed bunny that had its own seat beside its owner.

His grin visibly brightened, and he nodded enthusiastically. Then he pretended to whisper something into the toy's ear, and his smile grew up to his ears.

"Usa-chan would love to eat it," he began, "But she's full, just like you. Would it be okay if I take it instead, Haru-chan?"

"Sure, Hunny-sempai."

Haruhi chuckled at the small boy who was actually seventeen years old and watched as he made the cake do a disappearing act worthy of rivaling any of Houdini's tricks.

_**On the sixth day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me**_

_**The little boy Lolita.**_

* * *

Haruhi watched as the tall, dark-haired young man sat perfectly still. All eyes were on him, but he didn't seem to mind them. His eyes were focused on the door.

The ladies were used to his silence—he never really did say more than three sentences each day—and were perfectly fine without him uttering a word. He really did live by the saying "actions speak louder than words." It held true for him in every aspect, but today even Haruhi thought that his level of concentration was unnerving. Even when his guests began clamoring for his attention, he did not heed them. The boy remained frozen, sniffing the air every once in a while.

It was almost funny, but Haruhi knew that if he kept the act up he would end up losing the new girls' interests and they might decide not to return to the Host Club anymore because they got bored. If that happened, the whole world would cease for these boys, and Haruhi would take the brunt of the fall; no customers meant no way of her being able to pay her debt.

No one else knew what was up, but Haruhi thought that she had a pretty good idea. She excused herself from the couch where she was entertaining her own clients and made her way to the straight-faced boy's table. She gently laid a hand on his muscular arm.

"Mori-sempai?"

His eyes flicked towards her for a moment, and returned to staring down the door. But he did grunt, so she took this as a sign that he was paying attention.

"Mori-sempai, I'm sure he'll be back soon," Haruhi reassured him. "Hunny-sempai only went to the restroom."

_**On the seventh day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me**_

_**A strong and silent hunk.**_

* * *

Once Haruhi entered the clubroom that day, she could distinctly make out the dark, gloomy aura that came from one of the far corners of the place. She looked there, and sure enough she found Tamaki, crouched down and rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Uh…" she began, but before she could continue she was interrupted by a familiar snickering coming from behind a couch. Haruhi headed over and saw the Kaoru and Hikaru in fits of silent laughter. Sensing her presence, they wiped the tears from their eyes amid hearty chuckles.

Haruhi knelt beside them. "Do I even _want _to know?"

"Hey, we only did it for you," they said in unison.

"Would you rather have the boss fawning all over you every second of the day?" Hikaru teased.

"Yeah, because if you do Haruhi, we can tell him that you took it all back," added his twin.

"Took what back?"

Bursting into laughter again, Hikaru pointed to Kaoru who was pulling something from underneath his blazer.

"We told the boss that you had had enough of him," the elder choked out, clutching his sides.

"In fact, you hated him so much that you wrote his name on _this_," Kaoru snickered, holding out the small, wooden carving.

_**On the eighth day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me**_

_**Beelzenef the curse doll.**_

* * *

Haruhi shook her head stubbornly for the nth time.

They were still pleading with her to let them come over to her place. She wasn't really against the idea, but it just so happened that her apartment was a complete and utter wreck at the moment, her father was recuperating from a hangover, and she hadn't done the laundry yet. In short, it was a disaster area and ought to be covered in yellow tape and signs that read 'Enter at your own risk.'

But no, the Host Club was a persistent bunch. Haruhi had no idea why they loved visiting her when they already saw her five times a week and of course they also pulled the occasional trick of kidnapping her and taking her to some recreational place at Kami-knows-where. This time, though, she was absolutely not going to give in to them.

She held out against their combined efforts for a nice long time; however it was Kyoya that had enough smarts to know her weakness and use it against her.

When he mentioned it, Haruhi's stomach growled, and the boys grinned because they knew they had won yet again.

"We'll see you later, Haruhi."

_**On the ninth day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me**_

_**Lots of fancy tuna.**_

* * *

"Are they gone, Haru-chan?"

Haruhi carefully stuck her head around the corner and breathed a sigh of relief.

"The coast is clear, guys. Can we get out now? I can't breathe."

Seven people toppled out of the broom closet. Haruhi got stuck in the middle of a Tamaki-Kyoya-Mori-Hunny-Kaoru-Hikaru sandwich. With difficulty, she disentangled herself from the mass of groaning bodies. One by one, the boys stood up and straightened out their rumpled uniforms and tried to flatten their disheveled hair.

"I can't believe we fit in there," Kaoru said, stretching his arm, which had been bent in an odd angle between his brother and the door.

"At least we escaped the stampede," his twin said.

Tamaki gave a light chuckle. "Our princesses sure know how to be excited. I just wish I knew why."

"I would blame their irrepressible hormones," Kyoya replied. Then he paused thoughtfully. "Unless of course it's the announcement I placed on the club's website."

They all looked at him. _And this announcement would be…?_

"100 yen for a kiss under the mistletoe."

Understanding was immediately taken over by terror. The situation would have been comical if not for the fact that the girls at Ouran Academy exceeded the force of an angry herd of rhinos, especially if they were being led by Renge Houshakuji. The thought of so many women acting that way scared even the Host King, and that—in Haruhi's opinion—was saying something.

_**On the tenth day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me**_

_**Tons of crazy fan girls.**_

* * *

Haruhi found herself reading the same sentence again. She had been on page eleven of her newly-bought novel the whole day, unable to read further because of certain…distractions. The throbbing in her temples only made matters worse, that and she had her monthly present from Mother Nature today.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Haruhi took her nose out of the book and surveyed her surroundings.

The Host Club had gone into overdrive today. The guests were already gone, but Kyoya had made her stay for some important meeting which never really had a chance to start because everything went wild as soon as the last girl (apart from Haruhi) left the door.

Mori had long since stopped trying to prevent Hunny from eating any more sweets; now Hunny was devouring a whole table of cakes by himself, and the sugar rush it caused wasn't really helping to decrease the amount of noise in the atmosphere.

The twins had been bored, and as customary they pulled another crazy trick on Tamaki to amuse themselves; the blonde was screaming at them and berating them for being 'shady,' 'untrustworthy,' and 'sons of the devil.' Hikaru and Kaoru only seemed to be encouraged by this, however; they were laughing their heads off and would toss in another snide remark every now and then to add fuel to Tamaki's fire.

Aside from Mori, the only silent boy was Kyoya, who was seated next to Haruhi. Sure, _he_ was being quiet, but the nonstop tap-tap-tap noise he made on his laptop was the last straw on Haruhi's nerves.

All she wanted to do was get home before she finally ticked off. So without excusing herself, she ran out of the room and slammed the door, leaving behind an incredulous and suddenly hushed Host Club.

_**On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me**_

_**One major headache.**_

* * *

A sigh escaped Haruhi's lips. She had gone out for a walk in her neighborhood, since she had nothing else to do anyway. It was Christmas Eve, but she was going to spend it by herself. She had persuaded her father to spend it with his other tranny friends (since he obviously wanted to, anyway, and was only concerned for her). Haruhi pensively thought about all the other people who were celebrating right now… And by 'other people,' she meant six specific boys.

_They're probably having a good time. _She smiled a little.

Upon reaching her apartment's block, Haruhi stopped in her tracks. There was a sleek black limousine parked in front of the building.

Surely, they didn't…?

Running haphazard up the stairs, she fumbled for her keys, but she didn't even have time to unlock it before someone opened it for her and she half-fell inside.

Regaining her balance, Haruhi stared at her apartment. It had been totally transformed; tinsel hung on the walls, Christmas lights winked at her from every direction, and other various holiday décor were visible on every inch of the small space. There was even a tree, and under it were gaily-wrapped presents; big and small. Someone had set up the kotatsu; the scent of the stew was incredibly appetizing.

But the surprise wasn't that—it was the six boys who sat around the kotatsu. Haruhi's heart gave a little leap.

"What are you doing here?"

The twins pretended to be offended. "Really, Haruhi, we've done all this and you act as if you want us to leave."

"Doesn't my daughter like it?" Tamaki said, sounding a bit crestfallen.

"But, Haru-chan," Hunny piped up. "I brought a lot of yummy cakes for all of us to share!"

Mori gestured at a slightly smaller table that held all the desserts.

"I suppose I can always put this on her tab," Kyoya said.

Haruhi only stood there, her mouth gaping. "Y-you… You did all this… but… I thought… Why?"

The group laughed at her stuttering. Haruhi blushed.

"What do you think you're doing? Guys, you're supposed to be with your _family_ during Christmas."

Tamaki, the one who had opened the door, moved to take her hand.

"Yes... And now the whole family's here," he smiled, as he led her to the kotatsu. Haruhi felt a tear slide down her cheek as she saw the faces there, all beaming up at her like the light of day. She couldn't remember feeling so happy, and realized that it had been this wonderful bunch of people who had been the reason for her smile.

All of a sudden, all the frustration, the countless nuisances and relentless craziness faded away to nothing.

"Merry Christmas, Haruhi!"

She beamed back at them. "Merry Christmas!"

_I love you, you idiots._

**_On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me_**

_**Best friends forever.**_

**

* * *

**

***~*~*~***

**A/N#2: Yes, I know you want to sing it. So here it is, just fill in the blanks.**

_On the ... day of Christmas, the Host Club gave to me:_

_- The roses from Music Room Three_

_- Two devil twins_

_- A cool guy in glasses_

_- One French blonde_

_- Hot shirtless boys_

_- The little boy Lolita_

_- A strong and silent hunk_

_- Beelzenef the curse doll_

_- Lots of fancy tuna_

_- Tons of crazy fan girls_

_- One major headache_

_- Best friends forever_

**There you yourselves out. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

**xD Happy Holidays!!!**

**And click this, if you please. x)**

**l  
l  
V**


End file.
